Bitchslap is a preposterously over-the-top homage to decades old B-movie exploitation, a man’s dream-world chock full of slender, tanned women with double-D’s. Naturally, when a group of these voluptuous women get together their actions eventually fall back into lesbian sex scenes, homoerotic groping, playful wrestling, and nonstop pillow fights. Or, in this case, a desert scene in which three hot, sweaty women douse each other with buckets of cold water. Extra cold water.
Somewhere in there is a plot involving millions in diamonds hidden like pirate booty, a shady gangster in a banana-hammock, a sexy female spy from the James Bond mold, and…it doesn’t really matter does it? This movie doesn’t take itself too seriously or deviate from what it actually is. When each woman initially appears on film, it’s all long legs, flowing wind-blown hair, and slow-mo cleavage shots. There were times when the ratio of jiggling flesh to shredded fabric was mind-boggling. In addition, the amount of foul language, guns, explosions, and fighting is nearly a parody of a male fantasy. Nearly. The pinnacle is perhaps the most epic of all cat-fights, a seemingly endless battle to the death between two supermodels in skimpy clothing, a war that makes the classic backstreet brawl in They Live look like patty-cakes.